Ok...I apologize in advance for this week's edition. Kinda. In any case, should there be some involuntary pukage that occurs on your computers/keyboards/monitors, etc...I deny any and all responsibility and refuse to pay for new equipment. So...that means, in short, stalker up and read some of these on an empty stomach! So there! =-p
Giant Boner-Inducing Spider Rampages in Supermarket Really? It rampages? Was it like 8ft tall? How does a spider rampage exactly? Do the floors shake? Light fixtures swing? Threatening "Boom! Boom! Boom!" to the time of 8? What?
Semen-tainted yogurt samples land grocery store employee in jail Aaaaaaaaaaaand....so. Hmm...yeah.
'Ninja' spotted in Sunland Park yard Shitty, shitty, shitty Ninja. Only a flunked out Ninja would be spotted anywhere...including the park. Bad, bad, Baaaaaad Ninja!
Owner of killer bear chokes to death on sex toy I don't even know where to go with this. I'll let your imaginations work this one out for you. *shakes head*
And from my "as seen on twitter" account....
@ABC: Oklahoma Man Poses as Autistic, Cons Women Into Changing His Diaper http://abcn.ws/qixyQd
And...there you have it! =)
Jewell =) xo