Tuesday, May 3, 2011

The Hair Drama

With the business trip coming up, I started wigging out about the fact that my hair had gotten beyond the point of unmanageable.  If you didn't read my post about my hair from last fall, you really should.

It had finally come to a point where I needed to do something with my hair because  1) it was bugging the shit out of me, and, frankly, bugging the shit out of me is always a bad idea   2)  nothing could be done with it to really make it look presentable in a business situation.  And by nothing I mean short of Super Glue for mousse and duct tape for barrettes or headbands whichever look I decided to go for.

In all honesty though, I had been avoiding the whole hair cutting experience like I was slated to do the "dead woman walking" mamba (again, see previous post from last fall), thus allowing my hair to grow out even more to the benefit of Locks of Love.

The thought of  1) getting in front of a camera in order to get the before pictures (I bloody hate being in front of the camera)  and   2) the thought of what the end result would look like once all my hair was hacked off by someone I had never seen, met, knew anything about, and who would be armed with a pair of shears that would make a scalpel look dull...not comforting.  Nope.  Not comforting in the fucking slightest. 

So here are the before pictures so you can see how long my hair had gotten, my Cousin It impression, and me practicing for my own Mugshot Monday....crap, you get the idea.  Not advisable to be eating anything as involuntary regurgitation is possible.  Don't look at me that way.  You've been warned. 

In the beginning...it was almost down to my bum
OMG!  Why is the basement so windy all of a sudden?
Embracing my inner Cousin It
Practicing to appear in my own Mugshot Monday.  How am I doin'?
So, in an effort to try and stem my nervousness, I went to visit the website that helped me to pick a hairstyle the last time my hair had been cut.  I mean, if I could get an idea of what the style would look like before I was subjected to unseen person's skills and weaponry, there would be a good chance I wouldn't be fidgeting, crying, screaming, and sucking my thumb in the chair like a 2 year old during their first hair cut.  Maybe.

So off to TheHairstyler.com I went.  (Please note, I am in no way affiliated with this site, I just found them extremely useful - despite the fact that I have to pay - when I need to find a new do.)

It requires a picture with your hair pulled back against a blank background.  Again with the mugshot poses??  Fine!  So here is what I uploaded for the virtual hair styler to use as a base.

Shit!  I'm much better looking from behind the camera.

Please note, from here on out, this post is going to look like a couple of fucked up Twilight Zone-esque mugshot composites.

Of course, I had to go through and try on hair styles that I knew that I would never get...check out what I could have ended up with.

Click on the photo to enlarge for the full effect and to read the captions
Ok, enough wasting time.  I'm running out of time to get my hair done, and I really need to come up with a solution soon because the Cousin It / Super Glue / Duct Tape look isn't going to impress anyone.  Including Locks of Love.  Besides, there are likely to be a lot of guns in the vicinity of this business trip so not being mistaken for an animal escaped from the downtown zoo....genius!

Below are the runners up for what I could have gotten done with my hair.  Included in this composite is the hairstyle that I took to the hairdresser to use.

Again, click to enlarge if you dare

So, I've decided to make this a bit of a contest.  Here are the rules.

1) Pick the hairstyle that I took into the hairdresser  DUH!

2)  Be the first one to comment correctly with your answer  DOUBLE DUH!

3)  The person that wins this little contest needs to be someone that was NOT listed in yesterday's housekeeping and award post.

The Prize?  You people are already worried about the prize? 

No.  You don't get money. 

No.  You don't get Charlie Sheen level fame. 

No.  I'm NOT buying you a car! 

What I will do, though, is I will pimp your blog to my readers stalkers for one day.  Of course, there might possibly be some homework associated with your win so you can properly introduce yourself to my other readers stalkers.  What?  The pimp doesn't do all the work you know!

The hairstyle that I chose, a picture of the 2nd and 3rd close choices, yet another picture of me this time with the cut and what I did with it, AND the announcement of who won.......*drumroll please*     Next Tuesday... May 10th.

Ok...on to the rest of the trip tomorrow!  =)

Now...go get some water.  I can't have any of you people dehydrating after getting rid of your lunches as a result of actually looking at the pictures in this post.

Jewell  =)  xo


alejandro guzman said...

I would've gone for the fifth one on the top or the fifth on the bottom.
I know that would have suited me just fine. Now for you? ummm?


Cheryl said...

How nice to have a face to go with the name, my friend. How young you are. How depressed am I (because I am not young) I understand I am not eligible to win your little hair contest but you didn't say I couln't enter. I think you picked the middle picture in the bottom row. I think this would be more fun had you picked out the bright red do in the top section. That way we could of all made fun of you from afar.

Also, just a heads up (and you have plenty to pick from) tomorrow I will be using your name with wild abandon in my post. I plan on answering the questions posed for being Overlordess.

Felinae said...

Hehehe, picking a style is a bitch isn't it? Well anyway...

I'm going to say you chose the 3rd style.

If I have met all the requirements, there is no need to pimp my blog, let the second person basque in the glory. :)

Have a awesome day, Jewells.
♥ Fel

Bodacious Boomer said...

Well I'm hoping that you're going with the rat's nest, thereby looking much like me.:)

Jewell said...

A...and here I was thinking that the "flock of seagulls" look would have worked well for you! =) hehe

Cheryl...young is a state of mind. =) Trust me, most of the time I'm not nearly as old in my head as I am chronologically! =) No doubt...I wouldn't be able to get lost in the store with that bright red hair!! =)

Thanks for the heads up...I'll be over a little later today. I think I am on permanent catch-up! =)

LOL ... Fel...it's such a pain in the ass! LOLOL

BB...sorry to say, the rat's nest wasn't part of the final choices! Unfortunately I leave you bask in the glory of that do all on your own! =) xo

Clare and Gary said...

Fifth on the top...

Anne's having a hair cut tomorrow.. we need to get her to do this 1st!!!

charlie nitric said...

Hi Jewel -

I like the top row of the runners up photos, 3rd pic (middle). That is the photo with the high-lights. Which one did you choose? :)

Jewell said...

Clare...you guys definitely should have her go through some of these! LOL I'm convinced her version of this kind of post would be waaay more funny than mine! =)

Charlie =) Thanks for dropping by! =) Results will be announced (should there be a winner) next Tuesday! =) Stay tuned! =)