Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Media Hilarity - 4/6/11

Stupid people make me soooooooooo happy!  =-)

     Denver Fire's arson van set on fire  Niiiiiiiiiiice!  

     2,500 rubber ducks stolen from Ill. police academy   Being an Illinois native...I really didn't even want to read about this (I did, but I didn't want to).  I know how Illinois cops operate, so to read that the ACADEMY was missing RUBBER DUCKIES...really, just didn't come as any kind of surprise to me.

     US man leaves behind t-shirt printed with own face at house he burgled   And then there are people like THIS out there who are some of the types of people that, literally, put a face to the good ol' U. S. of A.  Way to go dumb shit!  The only fucking thing lamer than wearing a fucking t-shirt with your own damned picture on it is NOT having your name, social security number, address, and phone number of your mother's basement listed on the back.

     Man Brings Beer to DWI Court Appearance   Wow!  Just Wow!  How this guy manages to carry his balls around is impressive!  Hey...at least he brought extra for his buddies in blue!  Moron!

     Thieves flee ATM heists in golf carts   Really?  Hey!  Numbnuts!  Push scooters might have been, not only smarter, but maybe faster?  Go old school, asshole!  Go green!  Use your own damned feet...make it easier for the police dog salivating on the back window to puncture your ass like his favorite tennis ball.  Police dogs need to have fun too!

Have an wicked cool day!!

Jewell  =)  xo

12 comments:

Dave said...

Gotta love stupid criminals!!!!!

And irony, too.

The Headlines are the only thing I watch on Jay Leno, because I can't get enough of this stuff.

Thanks for the fun!

Ron said...

I find the "Rubber Ducky" thing hilarious because I know for a fact where they got them from. In 1995 students at U Chicago staged a protest about opening enrollment to the top 5% globally academic candidates. Prior to this, they only accepted the top 3%. They filled the Midway with water and floated 25,000 rubber duckies in protest. It worked! BTW, the motto at UC is, "U-Chicago...where fun goes to die!"

just saying.

Cheryl said...

Hi Jewell, I, too, am originally from IL. I saw the rubber duckie story and thought that was another example of irony.

Pretty funny headlines. Seems to be a lot of stupidity in the world.

alejandro guzman said...

Funny and stupid stuff lol
I'm sure that guy with the T-shirt has underwear with his name on it too just so he knows which ass they belong to.

A

Jewell said...

Dave...I am completely with you! I never miss Headlines on Leno either! =)

Ron...you would find the rubber duckie thing hilarious. =) You are juvenile minded like that! =) Now you mention it though, I do remember that story at UC! Now I know why I ended up at Eastern in the southern part of the state! =)

Cheryl...hey ho there neighbor! LOL =) Amazing how much smaller the world gets on the internetz, huh? Trust me...if there is stupidity in the world...it will probably end up here at one point or another! Irony makes me giggle and stupid people are the cherry on the top of my life. =)

LOL A...I just don't EVEN want to know what this guy wears for underwear. I'm get the impression it might be red and lacy, but I really don't want to go any further than my speculation. It might cause me permanent injury... =)

hansi said...

In my thirty years as a probation officer, that takes the cake as far as dumb-shits go. Many people show up to Court high, but never with an open beer, and four for the road. How the hell did he get by Courthouse security? Rule of Thumb: Keep it in ya, Not on ya.

Asha said...

That thief needs a new calling card. He may as well left his ID card too. Jeez!
WTF does the academy need rubber duckies for?? Do I really want to know...are they battery operated?

Jewell said...

LOL Hansi...I thought you, in particular, would enjoy that little bit of drunken wisdom! =) Oh, and...what security? =)

Asha...yeah...you don't really want to know the REAL reason for the rubber duckies....they have a version of the reason listed, but I suspect it's bullshit! =) It is the IL state police after all...

SJ said...

He He - Why don't they just do a rubber duckie hunt- they can charge people for finding them and then get them back and then sell them :) DOUBLE DUCKIE HUNT -

I'm thinking that I want one of those TSHIRTS - only so I can rebrand it with "My stupidity costs me more" under MAKING MONEY IS MY THANG. Idiot!

Jewell said...

LOL SJ...I actually wouldn't be surprised if the IL state police charged people to find them! It would actually be on par..

I call percentage on the TShirt sales...you wouldn't have gotten the idea without my blog post....I want HALF! =) LOL

Widow_Lady302 said...

I have always wanted to see a high speed chase in a gold cart...but in my mind it is people in their
80's on both sides and the crime is something like who stole the last prune pudding cup...LOL

Jewell said...

lol Lis...I'm sure with you there is still time for there to be a "high speed" chase in the golf carts! LOL =)