Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Guest Post - Holidaymakers! by BaldyChaz

Crazy Englishmen from Monty Python to Mr. Bean are never in short supply.  Well, in this case, this crazy (and probably slightly grumpy) Englishman out does all others.  Mainly because the shine from his bald head blinds all of his competitors.

In any case, BaldyChaz of rantings of a bald man is a wonderful writer, and a wonderful friend for helping with the guest posts while I was out of town on business.  Thanks, mate!  I appreciate you jumping in with both feet to help me out...

Now....on with the crazy bald one's post...enjoy!

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Holidaymakers!

Step back get away give a baldy some room, you got to turn me up when my rants go boom! Hello and welcome Baldychaz is my name ranting is my game.

A big shout out to my lovely hostess HELLOOO and without further ado follow me into the world of bald rants…..

Today's topic is a seasonal one, I am lucky to live on the coast in Norfolk England, surrounded by the beach on one side and lovely woods on the other. Lucky me it’s a pretty little place (although a bit backward and slow in the Norfolk way) so what possible reason could I have to moan ask you dear readers?


One word (think its one word anyway) Holidaymakers! Being a seaside resort in Winter this little haven is as deserted as the top of my head. Tumbleweed blows through cold windy empty streets, half the shops shut and an eerie silence descends.

However this changes rather dramatically during the holiday season, take this bank holiday weekend! The streets ate laden with ice cream licking fish and chip munching strangers. All enjoying the wonders of Norfolk (mainly the beach the woods are clear phew) and? So? don’t they have every right? Yes they do indeed, but sadly the locals rights are vanished bulldozed aside by the money grabbing tourist industry, we have no large supermarket, oh how jolly quaint! No it’s a royal pain in the bum if you actually live here and want to buy food! Why no supermarket? Because the holidaymakers wont like it is the equally annoying reply!!

Want to buy a pint of milk? Tough queue for what seems an eternity behind swarms of rude queue jumping bright red invaders!! Want to park your car closer then 3 miles from your house? Better have off road parking then buddy, we cant possibly have permit parking what would the holidaymakers say!!

I am you may be surprised to hear not against holidaymakers, its people on the whole! Well queue jumping, swearing, owners of ill behaved children people who seem incapable of walking faster than a snails pace without taking over the entire pavement who tut if you dare to actually try and overtake them because I don’t know, you have to buy some cigarettes before work!!!

Me, I’m glad that I have to work all bank holiday weekend now how many people would say that!?

Thanks for listening, the bald one saying goodbye and farewell, look after yourselves and each other!

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Now....GO!  Visit BaldyChaz's blog and show him some lovin'.  Just don't forget to take your sunglasses, because if England is having a sunny day he might blind you if he's not wearing a hat!  In case you missed it above (or your ADHD kicked into overdrive)...his blog can be found here .... rantings of a bald man.  Now go, and don't embarrass me (overly much)!

Muwah!

Jewell  =)  xo

13 comments:

Alpana Jaiswal said...

Thanks for this one,Jewell...this is the same with most of the holiday destinations...

Bodacious Boomer said...

Cute post kiddo. I think Miss Jewell will be pleased.

Pamela said...

Ha-ha! I have every intention of being a "holidaymaker" as soon as possible dear bald one! :-) Bet it's so beautiful there to attract so many red invaders!

hansi said...

I'm a big fan of the "Bald One" and have been following his ongoing story.

Annie (Lady M) x said...

Great post Baldyman, and fellow countryman! You did a great job of filling in for Jewell. Shit yeh, I used to live in a holiday resort in Devon, and experienced exactly what you described.

SJ said...

Chuckling - we holidayed in Norfolk every year when I was younger and the one thing my mum always moaned about was no decent supermarket LOL

Really don't envy you the holiday makers but when they aren't there you do get to live in an absolutely wonderful part of the UK so it's not all bad :D

BornStoryteller said...

Damn. and I so wanted to come for a visit!!

YogaSavy said...

So true! your pint of milk reminded me of when I first came to london and I had to go buy a pint of milk from the local store! For the life of me I could not understand the man behind the counter and there I was frozen, speechless and for a moment I thought I was stupid! Took me a while to understand cockney!.... I still dont

alejandro guzman said...

Sounds like a lovely place. I think I should visit. I'll put on matching trackies and a bum bag walk very slowly whilst eating chips.

Sounds good.

A

Jewell said...

Alpana...you are very welcome! Thanks for taking the time to come over and inflate the bald one's shiny head! =)

Bald One...thank you again for helping out while I was gone! I really do appreciate you stepping in to help! xo <3

Finding One's Way said...

Ahhhhhhhhh, another priceless rant from the BALD MASTER. I bid you greetings sir. Well done...
xoxo
Jessica

Mary said...

Oh Thy Bald Master...quite the quaint rant...loved it! p.s. I couldn't live without the supermarket:)

Jessica M said...

Darn tourists and seasonal wayfarers! Great post ;)