Tuesday, March 1, 2011

The Devil Made Me Do It

The little bastard ruining my weekend!
Yeah!  I can hear you thinking out there in the bloggyverse!  I don't appreciate it!  =-p

Hey you!  Yeah!  You!  Stop thinking THAT!  That's just disgusting, and, I'm pretty sure, is outlawed in several countries!  *shudder*

Anywho....as for the rest of you....Don't judge a post by it's title, dammit!

So.  Apparently there is cause for me to clear up those misconceptions you've all just conjured up in your wee minds.  Allow me to explain. 

*collective groan*

I heard that! 

The explanation will only take a mere 8 words (well 9 if you include the part of the statement that was my fingers getting ahead of my brain).  =)

I spent the ENTIRE fucking weekend reinstalling my laptop!
Not me...but what I was seriously considering to "fix" the problem.  Minus the whole wheat grass crap!  Who needs that shit on their desk?  Does she suffer from a severe case of hairballs??  AND how many pencils does one REALLY need when there is clearly no paper within a 10 block radius???
Now, those 8 (or 9) words should explain everything about the title. 

"But why?", I hear you ask with cautious trepidation.

Because!  It is a KNOWN fact, in the computer world, that PCs are the spawn of the devil.  Windows in particular!  (Regardless of what operating system you are enslaved to.)  Windows is the result of a particularly feral, overpowering, eyeball blistering, nose melting, throat burned to ash stench that could only be a result of.............................................................................................................................the Devil's farts.

Oh!  Look who dropped by!  The horned one himself!  Grrr
That's right!

I said it!

Windows is a crafty compilation of the Devil's farts.

"How do you figure?", I hear you thinking to yourself in stunned silence (because you really don't want to ask, but, because it's my blog, I'm making you think ask it anyway).


Really?  Do I truly need to say more?

*sigh*  Fine!  It's because, once released, the putrid smell will linger, and linger until the end of time, and then, suddenly and without warning, there's shit all over the place.

Do you get it yet??  Geeeeeeeeeeeeez!  I need to explain, everything!

And, to top it all off, what sort of sympathy did I get from some of the people I'm friends with on FB (like my former choral director)?

"I've got a Mac."

*blink*  *blink*  Thanks?  Jerk!

Still not me....but....yeah - what she said!
Bill Gates and his minions are a bunch of spent douches.

Oh! Yeah!  In case you were wondering, the answer is........ YES!  I'm fucking bitter!

Jewells  =)  xo


YogaSavy said...

Peeking and running ... just did not want to be around here too long incase you come out of my MAC! and thump me too

Jewell said...

LOL Savira...you are safe! I lurve you! =) xo

Ron said...

God bless technology :)

I'm pretty sure there is nothing safe to say here.

Jewell said...

*snicker* Ron...ya big chicken! =)

Asha said...

My laptop died a few months ago. See here: http://ashafullife.blogspot.com/2010/11/ramblings-redux.html
For the amount we paid for it, it SHOULD have been a MAC. Damn you, Dell and your ass raping financing plans!!
Is everything hunky dory now?

Hansi said...

Potty mouth and photos with obscene gestures notwithstanding (ha ha), a good post on the frustrations of living in a high-tech world. You are fortunate that you could do it yourself. I would have been phucked.

Jewell said...

Asha...I've come to the determination that there seems to be a computer uprising...in the last week I've known 4 or 5 people (including me) that lost their computer or have had to "fix" it...it's a Microsoft conspiracy. Hunky dory? Computer wise, yeah probably...I've moved on to something else to sit on a slow boil over... =)

Awww Hansi...my potty mouth is a regular visitor here. Obscene gestures not so much, but see what Microsoft and Windows has brought me to? =)