Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Media Hilarity - 2/23/11

Oh...this week's are awesome!  I'm uber proud of the morons of the world for making my life a little brighter this week!  =)  Enjoy!  =)

Malaysia police nab 3 for stealing 725,000 condoms  Ok...not even with a little blue pill  would you EVER need this many condoms...REALLY!   Wouldn't the have been better off with $725k in singles??  Morons!

Driver's dog helps Oregon deputy make drug bust   And this is EXACTLY why diamonds are a girl's best friend....guys you really need to get a clue (or stop doing / growing / selling drugs)!  =)

Wife stops tiger attack with wooden soup ladle  My mother used to whoop my butt with a wooden spoon until the day she wanted to get her point across, went into the kitchen, opened THAT drawer, and slammed the spoon on the kitchen counter and broke it.  I planted my ass faster than it could take for me to spit.  For some reason, I'm thinking that this tiger would have sooooo been up shit creek if that woman had been my mother!  =)  Bahahahaha!!

Man found watching porn after break-in   Uh - huh!  Ok dude, whatever.  I'm just glad I wasn't the Rookie officer that had to frisk you before you got your free ride to the pokey (oh - and in case you were wondering, yes...every single pun is intended with the use of that word).  =)

Snowplow chases suspected purse snatcher   Probably faster than chasing the bad guy while riding a giant tortoise, but waaaay more effective.  Holla to all the private snow plow driver super heroes!  This guy is awesome, and the idiot probably needed new drawers by the time the Po-po showed up to "rescue him".LOL  (Oh...and if you read this article, which I highly advise, don't click the link to the 911 call in the article...I tried.  They must have taken it down.)

Have a chucklelicious day!

Jewell  =)  xo


YogaSavy said...

Is this how you keep yourself busy? Well if I may say so............ Great cause making others laugh is a tough job and am glad you are doing it.

Anonymous said...

I love these! Hilarious as usual. (Hehehe, she said pokey!)

Jewell said... are entirely too kind, but thank you for the compliment! =) No, I wish I could say that this is the way that I keep busy, but sadly earning a paycheck is top priority and these are just things that I seem to bump across during the course of the day! =)

Ms Sweepy! =) Glad you liked the, the links! =)

Asha said...

Girl, you are silly. You come up with some shit. Keep it coming. It's entertaining.

HANSI said...

Gotta just love the stories about the drug dog and burglar watching porn. Dumb Shits!! Probably both stoned out of their minds.But in their defense, were it not for dumb shits, and just plain stupid asses, we'd have nothing to write about.

Bodaciousboomer said...

OMG I needed to laugh right now. Thanks kiddo.

Ron said...

Hey you - I started reading this but got distracted with your pay-back on another blog (wonder where that could be ;))

Okay...725,000 condoms? Now that is confidence!

The dog story - All I can say is that if a burglar broke in here, my dogs would help load the truck...go figure.

Tiger attack - I'm thinking that fact that the tiger was scared away may have something to do with here cooking skills...just saying "Whoa, what's that smell?"

Watching porn thingy - It would appear he wasn't getting ANYTHING that night...mores the better.

Snowplow thingy - To quote Forest Gump, "Stupid is as stupid does."

Be well,

Jewell said...

Asha *blink* Silly? Moi? Naaahhhh! Can't be! =) ox are so very right about that! =) Dumb shits bring a little sunshine to my life! =) are more than welcome for the laugh, hon! =) I'll keep trying to pull you through rodeo time. Just hang on to my tail...just be careful of the point! =) Muwahaha! Payback? Me? Never!! =)

Doug Stephens said...

725 thousand condoms worth $1.5 million?

Those are some expensive condoms.

Jewell said...

Doug, Doug, Doug....Leave it to you to do the math! Just be glad you don't have to buy one there! =)