Monday, January 24, 2011

Holy Shit! I'm awesome!

No really!  I have proof.  Proof so huge, awesomeness so blinding that Mugshot Monday - booted because of my self importance!

Now, because I care so about my underlings stalkers loving adoring readers, I extend this advice to you.  Sunglasses may be required to look my direction.  I mean my wonderousness can't be held responsible for fried retinas. 

However, being one of bad knees from doing stupid shit as I was growing up (*snort* yeah - like that EVER happened!)   (ummm - the growing up part, not the stupid shit part....the stupid shit part - that was real), I absolve you the need to kneel or bow in my presence.  However, kissing my ring - still necessary to avoid the gallows.

Ok - enough of this particular edition of bullshit.....well - kinda.

This weekend I was apparently picked to be one of the popular girls, by 2 of my favorite blog wonders.


This was first bestowed on me by Annie of the wildly crazy the day after yesterday.  What to say about Annie, if you don't know her already....  She's my sistah from another mother, from a different country, on a completely different birthday, with a crazy funny accent, and a gift of name calling that makes you feel both loved and adored, and, strangely, used and abused. 

The second was bestowed on me by Michele of the mentally off kilter musings of Bodacious Boomer.  What to say about Ms BB...well - she's crazy.  I laugh a lot at the blogs that I visit regularly.  Yet, so few of them have the ability to actually cause me to laughsnort.  Out loud even.  I mean...there is always one line minimum in every one of her posts that gets this reaction out of me.  BB - thank you, sincerely, for clearing my sinuses on such a regular basis!  =)

Many hugs and snuggles to both of you for thinking of me....

Like with anything in life, there were rules that went along with these...I'm not so much for the whole rules thing.  So I'll explain what I should be doing, and then do whatever the hell I want (as if you would expect any less from me).  =)

List 7 things about yourself that no one knows already.  Seriously?  That kind of torture should be illegal.  I'll give you 3.
  1. I swear like a fleet of soldiers on leave.
What?  You already know that?

Ok, well how about....
  1. My basement is in such a constant state of flux that it feels like I'll never be done torturing you with it.
Oh.  You know that one too?

Shit.

I got nothing. 

WAIT!  I have 1 single solitary thing...
  1. A bird shit on my head when I was in middle school.
Well there ya have it...everything else I've either shared here or I have repressed to a point that it essentially never happened.  *shrug*

Now - back to the rules...

The other rule was to share with you a list of 15 new blogs that I've recently discovered.  *holds up finger* Excuse me a second.... Bahahahahahhahahahahahahah  Ok... 

No.  Wait.  *snort*  Bahahahahahaha! 

Sorry...that just tickled me funny bone.  I barely have a chance to keep spewing this award winning bullshit brilliance........   I haven't had a chance to get out and explore the blogosphere recently.  So I will share with you five of my favorite haunts that I would like to share the wealth with (in no particular order of course).


Now - if you'll excuse me.  My hand maid is insisting it's time for my hand massage. 

Jewell =) xo

16 comments:

Felinae said...

OK, shades firmly in place, bowing down to your unending brilliance almighty Jewell. Now I refuse to kiss the ring unless of course it is a diamond with the likeness of Johnny Depp etched in the center. ;)

Thank You for the shout out, I am totally undeserving of it, I think there are many more out there that are way more worthy. But THANK YOU!!(I'll put the check in the mail tomorrow)LOL!

Congratulations, my friend, you truly deserve the awards and I am happy for you. ♥

You surprised me though, I did not know you swore like a sailor?? LOL! yeah and my halo is not being held up by small pointed horns. LOL! ;)

Congratulations, Jewell, Love Ya!
Hugs~Fel~

Dizzy C said...

Have found your blog via Annie.
Congrats on the award.

carol

Rachel Hoyt said...

Hahahahahaha. I hate when they add rules onto the awards! When it becomes like a chain letter I get a bit bored. :)

I already know Confessions of a Recovering Cynic, but will have to go check out some of the other friends you mentioned.

Mrsblogalot said...

You are the sweetest!!!! Thanks again girl!

Oh, and I think that same bird got me in middle school too!.

Damn bird.

YogaSavy said...

Hand massage!!!! Hmm think about that one...... Congratulations

Momma Fargo said...

Congrats! You deserve it. I have been reading your posts and love your blog. You have a new follower! And...Thank you! I am so flattered!

Jewell said...

Aww Fel - I love you too! No Johnny Depp etched style diamonds, but I guess I can let your insubordinance pass this time! =) LOLOL Enjoy the award my lovely! <3 xoxo

Carol...thanks for visiting, and honestly, the crap spewed in this post is partially due to you. =) Had you not shared the award with Annie I'd only have 1/2 the amount of bullshit to spew! =)

Rachel...I know how you feel. I am glad you came, you saw, and you will be blessed with some of the insanity that I indulge in regularly! =)

Mrs Blog Alot.... =) You are definitely one of my favorite haunted spots in the blogosphere. =) You definitely deserve it! =) Oh! That damned bird gets around.... =)

Savira...I know right? That's almost the best thing next to calf massages and chocolate. Which, in my esteemed opinion, run neck and neck in the awesomeness department. =)

Momma Fargo!! OMG! You have made my LIFETIME! You like me! You really, really like me! And if you don't....please don't tell me...I love feeling like you love er...like me! =) Truly...I am the one flattered here! Thank you so much!

Bodaciousboomer said...

Kiddo I'm so glad that I can provide a giggle now and again. Just goes to show you that not every part of getting old has to suck.

Annie (Lady M) x said...

Awww, thanks Jewell! That is a right bloody honour! I have never been called 'wildly crazy' before, so it has taken me to new heights. I love your blog I do. Mwwaahhhh xx

Annie (Lady M) x said...

P.S. I laughed my head off when you said that your only substantial thing was a bird shitting on your head! Comedy genius!!

Kathy29156 said...

Congrats, well deserved Jewell!

Kathy
http://www.thetruckerswife.com/

SJ said...

Kudos to where it's due - although bad knees prevent me from bowing (correct) and I went to do the whole Regal Kiss da Ring stuff and I went and tripped over your foot soldiers - nice view from down here though :D

Mary said...

Jewell, I do agree with you on the rules that are attached to the Awards, and give-aways as well. By the time you get to the end of the read, you've forgotten what the first requirement was! Anyhow, congratulations on your nomination for the Awards. You should be proud of your accomplishments!

tbaoo said...

a state of flux, and torture. this basement sounds like fun, i'll be round as soon as get my mask cleaned ..:)

Jewell said...

Kathy! =) Thanks for the compliment! xo =)

SJ - thank you for the kudos, sweetie! =) LOL I think you just might be my favorite clutz! =) Take a picture of the view from down there...we might be able to use the pictures for blackmail! =)

Mary....the rules can get ridiculous from what I've been able to see, and I get bored easily, so.... =) Thank you for the congrats and I am inordinately proud... =D

Tbaoo - lmao! Extra hands a fresh back always welcome! =) I need to get an updated post up on the progress (which is going significantly slower than desired *sigh*) =)

Jewell said...

BB - you are one of the ones who could show awesome what it means to be awesome =) xoox

Annie! =) LOL And yet you would be the only one that could consider "wildly crazy" something that could take you to new heights! LOL Now - when you say you laughed your head off this time...was that a ha ha bonk moment or just a ha ha moment? =) xoxo Muwah! <3