Thursday, December 15, 2011

Tis the season....

Tis the season...   I've decided again to do my yearly public service announcement.  This year's public service features a particularly scary dude trying to be one of Santa's many helpers.  If you see a Santa like this in your local malls or businesses or *gasp* in your living room...Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!  Save the children!



So folks...on that note I hope all of you have a fantastic holiday.  Whether you choose to call it Christmas, Xmas, Solstice, Hanukkah, Kwanza, or just another day, my wish for you is loads of love and laughter.  May you and yours be safe and happy.  May you all find overflowing blessings in every package, every stocking, every candle flame, every smile, every hug, and every "I love you".

I'm taking my end of the year break and I'll be back after the first of the year.

Much love and many holiday sprinkles to you all...

Jewell  =)  xo

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Ummm...FB and Santa don't mix

This just cracked me up....   Even reindeer aren't immune to the potential of unemployment.


Shape up folks...Santa's watching you while your sleeping, while you are awake, and, apparently, while you are playing Farmville.  =)

Jewell  =)  xo

Monday, December 12, 2011

Mugshot Monday 12/12/11

Now it isn't a show that I have ever watched, but I have seen clips and stills of it enough to recognize the show.  That being said...is it just me or does this guy look like a real life model for South Park?


As always...you be the judge...

Jewell  =)  xo

Friday, December 9, 2011

Friday Moment 12/9/11

A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from sometime ... anytime

A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember


Have a wonderful weekend everyone!  =)

Jewell  =)  xo

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Thursday Chuckles 12/8/11







Ok...so that last one just made me laugh.  Do guys really try to open doors (with or without handles like that) with their junk?  Gawwwwd....I hope not!

Anywho...laugh often today everyone!  =)

Jewell  =)  xo

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Media Hilarity - 12/7/2011

    Man Steals Sandwich, Uses Stolen Forklift As Getaway   Yeah...how did that work out for you genius??  *rolls eyes*  

    10-year-old pulls gun on woman who tried to take his Halloween candy?    And this is why our world is going to hell.  Our kids are going all wild, wild west on people over candy.

    Woman Burns Down Friend’s House For Defriending Her on Facebook    Shit!  Seriously?  I'd rather just leave Facebook than deal with the chances of that bullshit coming my way.  And I know some pretty crazy ass people.  As in really not all that right in the head.  Yeah.  I'll leave FB first...so just put your matches away people!

    Toilet paper fight sparks axe attack    Ok...a fight I can understand I guess using an axe if it's handing for defense purpose, but seriously?  A fight over missing toilet paper?  Isn't that like taking a grenade launcher to a pillow fight? 

    Man hospitalised with bullet in anus    And I am just going to let you guys read this one.  The article conveys WAY more disturbing shit than I could ever begin to dream of.  Damn!


Happy day folks!!!  =)

Jewell  =) xo

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

JUST IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS!

JUST IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS!

10% off your total order of any prints, any sizes, any combinations through January 2nd!

Use discount code NTARRU

Visit my web store at FineArtAmerica.com and get a discount on one of the things on your Christmas shopping list! =)


Jewell =)

Monday, December 5, 2011

Mugshot Monday 12/5/11

Give me a fucking break, dude!  Do you really think you are going to get out of your pile of shit with that look?  Your tats completely negate your hangdog look.  You are so far from innocent looking, at this point, even your grandmother wouldn't buy your story!  Moron!


As usual...you be the judge....

Jewell  =) ox

Friday, December 2, 2011

Friday Moment 12/2/11

A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from sometime ... anytime

A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember


Happy Friday everyone!

Jewell  =)  ox

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

A Thanksgiving To Remember

Hello all my lovelies.  I hope all of my US stalkers had lots of love, lots of laughter, lots of food, and lots of blessings on your Thanksgiving holiday.

If you opted to brave the idiocy of Black Friday I also hope that you all came back will all of your limbs and no pepper spray or gunshots in your butts.

My Thanksgiving was more memorable than I would have guessed.  I wrote about it over on my LensTripping Photography page.

As it turns out we had more to be thankful for around here than we realized.


Thankfully yours...

Jewell  =)  ox

Monday, November 28, 2011

Mugshot Monday 11/28/2011

Wow...this bunch looks like there was a threesome between the lady on the left, the guy on the left, and Lily Munster...the offspring of such a Ménage à trois?  The charming child in the middle...

Just plain....ummm...strange....


As always, you be the judge...

Jewell  =)  xo

Friday, November 18, 2011

Friday Moment 11/18/11

A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from sometime ... anytime

A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember


Have a lovely weekend everyone! 

Jewell  =) xo

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Media Hilarity - 11/16/11

    'Heroin for Sale' fliers lead to Portland raid    I.D.I.O.T.S   That's all.

    5 Stabbed at 'Welcome Home from Jail' Party    And really...who can be surprised that this is the environment where the person who went to jail hails from.

    Wild ride for Teamster in a toilet    I'm sorry....this just makes me laugh.  Talk about being caught with your pants down.

    Man Allegedly Beat Woman with Frozen Armadillo    Somehow, knowing that this is in Texas, just doesn't really surprise me.  I'm slighly more disturbed by the fact that someone would have a fucking FROZEN armadillo within reach.  Hard shelled rats.  Ick!

    House crashes into Ferrari F355 GTS    How, exactly is this possible?  This particular house doesn't even have wheels?  Do the parents to witchcraft?  Can they make their house float?  And besides, what did the Ferrari do that the house would want to crash in it? 



Jewell  =)  xo

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Hey! Look At Me! Shameless Self Promotion Time!

Ok...so Tuesday's around these parts have pretty much fallen by the wayside.  It's not my fault.  The husband him is a brutal slave driver when it comes to work and *gasp* hard labor.  Shit.  I hate hard labor.  It interferes with my ability to properly produce flab in my ass.  *sigh*  I live such an abused life.  *snort*

Anywhatthefuckever.

In case you missed out on the ginormous announcement, my new photography website is up and running.  I've been trying to write at least one blog post a week.  It's hard to blog once a week when you actually need to think of something to say.  =)  Especially when, like me, you tend to read a post to death for a couple hours before you actually post it because you want to make absotively sure that the bloody thing doesn't make you look like an illiterate douche-ess.  It hasn't really worked that well as I've managed to find gaffs in posts after I've hit the "publish" button.  I actually blame that bit on WordPress.  I'm positive that once the "publish" button is clicked it says, "Muwahahaha...let's fuck with her" and then proceeds to change some small piddly shit thing like "the" to "thee".  I swear WordPress makes the fucking insane autocorrect on my cell phone look like an Ivy League scholar.

Drop by for a visit.

You are all invited.

You will need to bring your own refreshments though as the refrigerator hasn't been delivered yet.  Suck it up!

Have a snoop.

Leave a comment.

Also, the site has a badge.  Look to the sidebar.  Over there.  NO!  *face palm*  Over THERE!  Ok.  Well maybe down a little bit.  No!  Not that far.  Back up.  Up.  Ok...THERE!   See?  I have it there for your viewing pleasure. So if you feel a wild hair wiggling loose that tells you to add the code to pimp my site....follow it's advice.  No really.  Follow it's advice and I won't tell the guys with the white hug yourself coats and the padded van where you live.  =)  I await your request for the badge code.  =)

Here's the latest blog post....  Rest Your Head In The Clouds   Go read it.  You know you want to.  Did I mention "Leave a comment?"  No?  Ok.  Leave a comment.  I suck at subliminal messaging.

You can also like my photography Facebook page, or follow me on Twitter and on Google+.  Pick a combination, any combination...you are invited everywhere I am.

Oh...and because this happens to be a blog post about shameless self promotion I'm throwing in an obligatory photo.  Oh stop groaning.  My pictures aren't that bad.  The voices in my head tell me every day that I'm bloody fucking awesome.  Well, actually maybe it's more like every 3rd day.  The other days they are suspiciously quiet.

Whatever.  Here's the picture.  I've been trying for a really long time to get this shot, or at least a shot on the camera that matched that I had in mind.  I finally got it. 



Jewell  =)  xo

Monday, November 14, 2011

Mugshot Monday 11/14/11

Wow!  Who knew that being bitch slapped with 5 life sentences could leave marks like THAT!


As always, you be the judge...

Jewell  =) xo

Friday, November 11, 2011

Friday Moment 11/11/11

A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from sometime ... anytime

A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember


Have a happy, peaceful weekend everyone!

Jewell  =)  xo

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Media Hilarity - 11/9/11

    Uranus takes a pounding more frequently than thought    You people do realize that I don't *always* read the articles attached to the title, right?  This is the perfect example of why...  =)

    Fake Doctor, 81, Offered Door-to-Door Breast Exams    Again, this is another one.  I'm afraid that reading any further would cause nightmares.  =)

    Snellville cop gets drop on alleged gas station bandit    However, knowing that I rarely ever read the articles...THIS one I really, REALLY suggest you read.  I promise it's worth it.  =)

    Man had only '2 pizzas to drink' before driving into ditch    Ummm...yeah!  *rolls eyes*

    Man jailed after trying to turn faeces into gold    Fuck me!   If this guy comes up with a viable recipe for this I am so buying it!!!!!!!


Happy day, folks!

Jewell  =)  xo

Monday, November 7, 2011

Mugshot Monday 11/7/11

Ok...so I know that I've been missing for a little over a week, and I'm behind on getting today's post up.  However, I've been up on my roof helping the husband him finish the roofing on our patio roof.  I have the sore body and enough roofing cement on my hands it's kind of a miracle that I'm not still stuck on the roof.

On the upside, the roof is mostly done.  At least done enough to handle the rain we have right now, and, right now, the patio is dry as a bone.

Do you hear that?  It's the angels singing.

We still have more to do since we ran out of roofing cement with about a foot and a half to two feet left to do on one of the seams.  We'll just have to wait for things to dry out and finish up the touchups on the relatively nice weekend that we are supposed to have.

Why do I tell you this?  It's because there is a chance I might go missing again until this stupid thing is finished.  So consider yourself warned.  However, since I was missing for a week and there wasn't any sort of uprising while I was away I think I'm fairly sure no one really cares.  =)

Ok, so on to this week's genius.  This week's genius comes to us from my sistah from another mother (I seem to have found a lot of those since I entered bloggy land) Lisa Brandel of both The Widow Lady and Art And The Human Condition.

Lisa had posted this mugshot and article on my FB wall saying that it was not only one of the best mugshots she'd ever seen, but also one of the best closing lines of any article she's ever seen.  She couldn't be more right.

:: Warning ::  Since most of you have the same sense of humor as I do, it's highly advisable that you be sitting down and clear your breathing passages of any food or drink prior to actually reading the article.  After this patio roof...I can't afford hospital bills or to replace any equipment that gets mucked up or shorted out.


As always, you be the judge.

Jewell  =)  xo

Friday, October 28, 2011

Friday Moment 10/28/11

A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from sometime ... anytime

A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember


Have a beautious weekend everyone!  =)  xo

Jewell   =)  xo

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Media Hilarity - 10/26/11

    Burglars Stumble Upon Man's Child Porn Stash, Turn Him In    And who says there isn't honor among thieves??  .....???

    Owners baffled by theft of 50-foot-long PA bridge    Yeah...I can see why this might cause a bit of confusion.  Seriously though, I am a bit envious of their sense of dedication.

    Man falls out of Porta-Potty after heroin overdose    And if this isn't this guy's rock bottom, it would probably, at the very least, be ranked as one of his most embarrassing moments.  #Epic #Fail #Moron

    Authorities say woman mistakenly texted deputy to sell drugs    Wow!  This po-po had a wicked awesome day on the job!  If it were only this easy all the time!


And from the ever entertaining Twitter feed...

    AP - Man who threw hot dog at Tiger Woods wanted to do something "courageous and epic" apne.ws/qRc0cC 

Jewell  =)  xo

Monday, October 24, 2011

Mugshot Monday 10/24/11

Um.  Is it just me?  Or is this kid, unfortunately, have an alien shaped head?  Seriously.  It can't be just me.  Can it?


As always...you be the judge...

Jewell  =)  xo

Friday, October 21, 2011

Friday Moment 10/21/11

A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from sometime ... anytime

A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember


Happy fluffy clouds for your weekend!  =)

Jewell  =)  xo

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Media Hilarity - 10/19/11

    University of Hong Kong Offers CLIT Courses   Last I checked China wasn't having any kind of population problems, so this clearly can't be what they are teaching.  Or maybe they are and this is the reason for the population?  Things that make me go "Hmmmm...." when the article titles are infinitely more interesting to me than the actual article....

    Man re-arrested for auto theft in jail's parking lot — moments after being released    Is it possible for people to be arrested for having shit for brains?  Even if they don't do anything illegal?  If so, I think this guy should be first on the list.

    Man Hatches Plan To Kill Ex-Girlfriend By Dressing In A Bears Skin    Yeah...this guy should maybe be on the list of people to arrest for being a shit for brains.  On a side note....either the person who wrote the article was drunk, or I"m not drunk enough.  Either way, the majority of this article doesn't make sense to me....am I the only one?

    Drink-driver almost four times over legal limit runs himself over with his own van    Ahhhhh...yes!  A trifecta in the shit for brains category.  Well, shit, now that I think about it, this guy might actually start a category for pickled brains at 4x the legal limit!  Yowza!


And from the ever entertaining world of my Twitter account....

    @bbc24: A workshop to teach people over 60 about "sex in later years" is cancelled due to a "lack of interest".

Jewell  =)  xo

Monday, October 17, 2011

Mugshot Monday 10/17/11

*scratches chin*  Somehow...not so surprised by this guy's charge sheet after seeing the photo...


As always...you be the judge.  =)

Jewell  xo =)

Friday, October 14, 2011

Friday Moment 10/14/11

A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from sometime ... anytime

A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember


Have an awesome weekend everyone!  =)

Jewell  =)  xo

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Media Hilarity - 10/12/11

    Houston Cops Ate Suspect's Pot Brownies While On Duty?    Is this one of those "Doh!" moments or one of those "Duuuuuuuude! Pass the Cheetos." type of moments??

    100,000 pot plants seized in Happy Camp, California    And should there really be any other place more appropriate to have a marijuana plantation than Happy Camp, CA???

    Man grew pot while living in tree house    Now this is something I would have liked to have seen.
   
    'Broken penis': Karma for cheating husbands?    And if Karma isn't the one that manages to get this done then I am sure that the woman being shafted would be more than happy to give Karma a hand. *evil grin*

    Damn the torpedoes: Defence's $600m blunder    DOH!  And here I thought the US gooberment was the only one prone to gaffs like this!


Stay out of the media folks...you never know when you could show up here!  =) hehehehe

Jewell  xo  =)

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Monday, October 10, 2011

Mugshot Monday 10/10/11

I have nothing to add to this picture but a few words of warning.

---  If you are standing - SIT DOWN!
---  If you are drinking anything, especially coffee - PUT IT DOWN!
---  If you are eating - SWALLOW FIRST!  If you've already eaten...I'm sorry.


As always, you be the judge! *rolls eyes*

Jewell  =)  xo

Friday, October 7, 2011

Friday Moment 10/7/11

A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from sometime ... anytime

A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember


Have a classic weekend everyone  =)

Jewell  xo  =)