Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Damn...damn...daaaaaaaaaaaaamn!

Oh * HELL * No!

If there is any question about why I don't fly anymore, here's a damned good reason if there were no others....
Maggots fall from flier's stowed bag

Crap...give me snakes on a plane any day of the week.  Heck, I'll even take the body-less heads that weren't properly marked in the cargo hold...but MAGGOTS?? *gag*

[Article Quote]  "As you might expect, a commotion ensued as affected passengers discovered what was going on."
Yeah!  Ya think?! I would have been the first to commotion my way over the ass of the cute Mrs Claus looking old lady or over top of the mother with the adorable toddler.  I swear I'm generally not the inconsiderate sort, but I'm pretty sure that this would have been an exception to every rule of manners that my mother tried to teach me.

[Article Quote]  "'The airline says spoiled meat in a suitcase is to blame for the mess,'"

Seriously?!  Rather than paying $99.95 for the bag of 3 peanuts you've decided to pack your own snack?  Or maybe instead of becoming a cliche like "the crazy cat lady" you are now aiming for something a little more hip, something a little more now, something new, something absolutely wild and crazy...maybe - "the brainless maggot momma"?  (1)  Yeeeeeah...next time take a tip from Steve Martin - try the arrow through the head thingy.

Also, how out of it, as a society, are we that we are even out of touch with our own honkers?  The guy in seat 32B farts and the smell travels the length of the cabin at the speed of light.  Really, flight attendant person?  You walk around poking and stuffing the overhead bins and slamming the doors until they actually latch and YET you didn't SMELL something WEIRD?   Granted odd smells, not so much part of airplane terrorist training, but.....reeeeally??????   *sniff*  

(1) - for the record I don't know if the offending (and I mean OFFENDING) passenger to whom the luggage belonged was a woman or man....I'm just sayin'

Ugh!

Jewell

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

A girly moment...to be sure!

Ok...so here's the deal.  I grew up my entire life a tomboy...to the point where my BFF and I in HS had considered we should try out for the football team.  We talked about it seriously for the length of time it took us to finish our lunch trays and cartons of milk, and then conversation moved on to something more realistic (1).

In any case, the chances of me having a bona fide girly moment are uber few and far between.  Pink is the color of the devil, dresses should be saved for Chihuahuas, and bras....well bras should be used to strangle 99.99999999999999 % of the male population. (2)

So tonight was a between night, and a girly moment was birthed...complete with squeal and shit eating grin. (3)  The cause of this anomaly?  I have proof of an actual stalker (see the comments on this post)...one that's threatening me with his good eye and a good word.  I suggest the bad eye (4) and appreciate (beyond words) the word.

Please follow him...he's well worth the read....  If I Had A Blog.  I found him just recently, and this is the post that caused me to become one of his loyal stalkers.  =)


(1) - and probably infinitely more interesting to a teenage girl...something that a stupid guy did in last period.

(2) - or string them up by the ... eh - hmmm.  What?!  There are 2 cups ya know!!!  =-p

(3) - the resulting reaction from the husband him is that I had clearly grown a third head (yes a third - don't ask)

(4) - more likely to keep him as an actual reader if he can't ingest my posts that well

Truly (and temporarily) humbled!

Jewell

Monday, June 28, 2010

Who Knew ...........?

Well folks, I have to say that today included 2 equally strong RWW moments for 2 completely different reactions!

RWW moment #1 - in the vocal intonation of surprised awe...

Day 2, of this blogging venture that is *cough* years in the making, and what have I learned thus far?  Ho-ing yourself for stalkers...wicked (1) exhausting work!!

Yes I did say ho-ing and stalkers in the same sentence.  But what else do you call it when you realize that spewing bullshit into the ether and back into your face isn't nearly as fulfilling as spewing it at other willing victims?  Well, once that realization hits you, there really is only one thing that you can do - you ho for stalkers. (2) 

RWW moment # 2 - in the vocal intonation of insincere shocked sadness

On a more serious, yet sad note, Donald Duck has apparently fallen on hard times...(3)  I came across these articles today in my article searches for my job.  Granted the articles aren't nearly as informative as they could be on the fall of this great name, but I am sure that TMZ.com will follow up with any pertinent details.
Bahahaha!  *snort*   =)

(1) - And no I am in no way shape, form, or accent related to Bah-ston or any other such place on the east coast that uses "wicked" any number of ways.  =) 

(2) - Doh! I think I might have stumbled on some accidental genius!  Maybe I should do some looking to see if it's already been copyrighted, patented, trademarked or can otherwise be stamped all over with my possessiveness.

(3) - and in Ohio of all places!!  Who woulda thunk it! *shakes head sadly*

Ok...until next time.

Jewell  =)

Sunday, June 27, 2010

And then....

....there was yet *another* blog.  I woke up convinced just recently that there was something that the world can no longer do without. (1)  A daily dose of me ranting about something ridiculous.  I don't know what it could be, each day will be an adventure to discover what the ridiculous thing is that cause me to go "Really?! What! What?"

Yes, I really do frequently have that reaction to any number of things during the course of a day.  It could be in the high pitched voice of incredulity, it could be in the low pitched voice of anger, or it could be in the breathy voice of resignation (complete with head shake), or any vocal intonation in between.

I look forward to venturing along with all of you followers/readers/friends (2) to find out which idiotic, inane thing will set me off on a tangent next. 


(1) - Yeeeah...ok, so about that whole "recently" comment...I actually planned on blogging and sharing my idiocy with the rest of the world, sometime around the time that blogging actually became a "thing".  Needless to say I am a little slow on the uptake.  ;-)

(2) - About this whole "all" of my followers/readers/friends...I don't have any yet, so I am pretty much just spewing random bullshit into the ether and back at myself.....Yay!  =)

 Until next time....  =)

Jewell