Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The Light! The Light! I'm Meeeelllllttttting!

Yay! There really is a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel!  =)  I think after close to 2 weeks of being down and out with the cold from hell, I am finally starting to come up for cough free air!!!!  =)

It was taking so long to get over the stupid thing that I was beginning to think that sleeping propped in a sitting position sucking on cough drops and taking layers of skin off my nose every 3.5 seconds was going to be my new reality.  Thankfully, despite the ever so gracious offer of my bestest friend in the whole wide world to shoot me and put me out of my misery, I am proud to say that I finally feel a teensy little bit like an actual human and a lot less like a grub in a shit pile (not to mention looking like one too - it got ugly around these parts I'm tellin' ya!).

Now, I might have mentioned somewhere along the way that I have found it in this small, cynical, and snark-tastic heart of mine to share this wonderful experience with the husband him.  I mean really, what is sharing the rest of your life with your soul mate if not sharing some of the shit along the way!  =)  I figure the only educational gracious thing to do is to share the fatalistic wish to die while you cough your insides out because only the heavens know you'll never be able to get any damned sleep experience with him so that he can properly empathize and sympathize with the plight that I was fighting. 

The husband him is experiencing the lavish throes of what I went through, and now I'm feeling kind of bad for the poor guy.  He's coughed so much at this point he sounds like a gaggle pod of horned poisonous toads have taken up residence in his throat.  He's sucked down so much hot tea with honey (how anyone can choke down that crap poses a constant and egregious struggle of reason in my taste buds) to drown out a small nation.  Last night was the first night he was able to get some sleep without coughing up 1/2 a lung (the slacker - I was working on 1 1/2 lungs when I had it), and, instead, he ends up with heartburn that could incinerate a herd of mastodons.

Needless to say there is, literally, no rest for the weary around these parts, and I haven't seen the basement but once since the contractors left.  No, the camera wasn't in tow that time, I was wanting to make some progress.  Progress stilted by coughing and hacking, and enough mouse shit in one of the closets to make me want to curl in a ball and suck my thumb....I - HATE - MOUSE - SHIT!  It runs a close 2nd to spiders which I think is about the only thing that I hate more.  Spiders - good food for birds and mice.  Mice - excellent food for snakes.  Other than that....neither has a reason for existence in my world.  *shudder*

Anywho - now that I am starting to feel like, what I can only assume is, a normal person....I will hopefully be able to get caught up on some things around these parts.

Well, that's the update, from the lower Midwestern US of A, where the level of intolerable, unbearable, snot freezing cold clearly proves that the theory of global warming is a huge steaming pile of horse shit!  =)

Jewell   =)  xo

PS....thank you to all my lovely stalkers who regularly checked up on me and wished me a speedy recovery.  I appreciate it.....definitely more now that I am pretty well done with it, but I appreciated it then too!  =)  xoxo

6 comments:

Jenn said...

Ahhh...my tired head. I read that "Moose Shit" not "Mouse Shit" and was trying to figure out how the hell you had "Moose Shit" in your basement closet.

Damn Brain.

I am happy you are starting to feel somewhat human again! Hopefully the husband him won't be down too long either.

Cheers, Jenn

Ron said...

Hi Jewell - I'm glad you are better...I'm sorry your husband isn't. It is the gift that keeps on giving.

Mouse poop...never good, never a good sign...good luck with that.

Jewell said...

lmao Jenn...Moose shit?? LOL That cracked me up! =) I'm thinking you either need to get a full night's sleep or you need to take a break on the meds =) Or maybe you need more meds? =) lol ox

Ron....yeah thanks. The whole mouse poop thing seems to be a real puzzler because the closet has all kinds of duct work, wires, and the back of the stairs in it...not exactly an easy thing to close up but the husband him is tasked with getting it figured out. I refuse to be nose to nose with a mouse one of these days! In such an instance I might have to turn into a typical girl and scream bloody murder. =)

Annie (Lady M) x said...

Eh up me lovely! Glad to hear that you are starting to get better. That is one shite cold that you have had.

If it makes you feel any better, I have got mouses in my house too. They generally shit in two cupboards under the sink, but today I found a mouse shit on the cooker. It pissed me off a bit because the mouse had crossed a boundary it shouldn't have. I need to find a way to dispose of it humanely. Ummmmm.

P.S. Hope the husband him's man flu gets better..... for your sake! *wink*

Bodaciousboomer said...

Glad you're feeling better. No one should be sick close to Christmas. Snark-tastic. I love that.

Jewell said...

Annie...you are absolutely right. That cold was the pits! I was so sick and tired of being sick and tired. Now I am just back to being tired. =) Looks like the husband him is finally starting to come over the hill on his...so we might be making our way out to the healthier side of things.

BB....you are absolutely right. Being sick this close to Christmas puts a major damper on trying to get out and get any shopping done. =)