So much to write about & so little time

DAMN!  You ever have one of those weeks were you have tons of shit to spit at people and no time to put things together for those people to read?  Yeah - that would be me!  Ok, so off to the top of my knobby head here are topics that are jumping and screaming around my head to call first dibs into blogger....

1. An update about the whole eye surgery thing
2. My new BFF
3. The basement saga continues
4. I got mugged in my truck this past weekend
5. An ex-wife with balls whose size is matched only by those of a Blue Whale (1)
6. A general fluff piece with pics that I've taken...no big deal but something I've been meaning to do

So why am I not getting any of them put down for the posterity of the ages?

Because my house is full of CRAP!  (2)

See my lovely mom....

Yes folks....that really is mom and I...circa 1996

(aka - the era when my hair was permed and could be trained to do SOMETHING to look respectable)

...crossed over on my wedding anniversary in 2007.  Well, my father has since gone and gotten married this past summer, and he's sold my childhood home to one of my new step-sisters *insert eye roll here at all jokes regarding fairy tales and step sisters I'm allowing to evaporate into the ether*.  The result of which is a fresh influx of mom's stuff, her mom's stuff, and stuff of mine that I'd long forgotten had been packed away - a.k.a. CRAP!

I have plastic tubs and cardboard boxes coming out my bloomin' ears (3).  To top it off...one of my all time favorite not to mention sickest viewing pleasures is the TV show Hoarders.  Firstly because, on a normal day when my house is in it's usual pig sty condition, it makes me feel better that my particular, yet unique, brand of shitty housekeeping is ALWAYS going to be better than some of the houses that I see on that show.  =)

However, since my house hasn't looked as good as it's usual pig sty condition since the basement got tore up and mom passed, watching Hoarders makes me want to cry when I look at the piles of stuff crawling and clinging to every available surface.

However, while my eyeballs are working remarkably well in the grand scheme of things, the whole tearing up process....still not quite up to par...so, instead of indulging myself in a self absorbed fit of temper tantrums at the clutter, the mess, the piles of stuff that inevitably evolve into getting referred to as "shit" the longer it sits around and out of it's place, I've been trying diligently to plow through boxes and tubs.  Problem is, while I am making progress, it really doesn't LOOK like I'm making progress. (4)  While there is stuff that I either don't want anymore, or can't keep because I don't have room for it, that stuff is still relegated to boxes so that they can be sold on Ebay (5).  If I can't or don't want to keep something, I'm sure that there is someone out there that would be happy to take it off my hands and enjoy it.  (6)

I would say..."Calgon, take me away"....but I'm sure someone out in the wild blue yonder would only hear the "take me away" part and I'd end up fitted with a snazzy, yet form fitting new jacket and my very own bouncy castle.  *sigh*  

1 - The largest mammal on earth doncha know?  Still trying to work out if the ex-wife could actually be classified as a mammal though.

2 - I say that in the most loving and yet exhausted manner ever uttered by a daughter and granddaughter.

3 - Which is quite painful I assure you!

4 - Don't you just HATE it when that happens??

5 - Still not sure when I'll find time to do THAT!  Of course, should Porky Pig go sailing past my window sporting a fancy, shiny, new pair of wings I should likely take it as a sign! 

6 - Thus, possibly insuring that the show Hoarders stays on TV...who knows! 
  
Climbing Mount Crap To Resume.....whenever I get around to it!  =)

Jewell =) xo