Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Religion has it's moments...

I was reading a blog lately, and the author had been talking about a post topic that kept niggling her brain but wouldn't shake loose.  She finally had an "ah-HA!" trigger that helped to gel that idea for a topic into actual words....and it was hilarious!  We've all been there though...you have a line, or a part of a thought, stuck in your head, but you sit down to try and spin it into blog brilliance and your brain goes "Pfffffffftttttttttttt!  Thank you! Please come again." (1)

I had one of those too...  I know that I've mentioned before not being of the religious variety.  I think the last time I was in a church was for my Grandmother's funeral.  I never attended any church regularly (2), and feel particularly blessed that religion was not the center of my home life when I grew up.  Don't get me wrong, I have faith.  Believe in something (or someone(s) larger than myself).  I just don't believe a lot of the stuff that is wrapped up with organized religion, and don't feel that, to live my life well and admirably, I need someone to tell me how.  I had good parents who taught me morals, the difference between right and wrong, strength, and faith...the rest I have taught myself, and continue to learn....all without religion.

I do appreciate and enjoy looking at some objects that symbolize religion.  Old churches.  Stunning stained glass windows.  Intricate crosses.  You get the idea.

However, in the Middle of Nowhere Missouri, I am a bit of a fish out of water.  I live in the cusp of the bible belt, and churches are on almost every corner.  Every size...from gaudy new structures to adorable older ones.  Religion is thrown at you on those corners regularly with their church signs.  Some of them confusing.  Some of them shocking.  Some of them inspirational. (3)  But there is always one, somewhere, that makes us laugh our asses off as we drive by.

One of the husband him's favorite signs was one that we saw not too long after we moved out here.

Give Jesus A Try
The Devil Will Always Take You Back

That one still makes him laugh...(4)

There was one though that kind of put my ire up a little bit.

Coming Soon:
Manufacturer's Recall
Are You Ready?

Seems a bit of fear mongering to me...maybe not so much to those that put it up, but I didn't appreciate the message at all.

Then there was this little quirky sign that made us chuckle...

Sign Broken
See Inside For Details

However, watching last night's news there was a story about some local thefts in the area.  They are all taking place at the rural churches in the area.  (5)  As it turns out, there are people stealing the air conditioning units from the churches.  With the economy what it is in these parts, I'm fairly sure it's a money thing for the people that are stealing them, but for the churches it can be a devastating blow.  They are targeting the smaller rural churches, most of them aren't financially well off (6) and rely on volunteers and the good will of the community to help them with anything that needs fixing.

However, during the course of the news story, our local TV station had gotten a shot of the church marquee next to one of the churches that had been hit by the thieves.  The clergy and parishioners passed on message from above....  Needless to say, the husband him and I bust out laughing...

To those who stole my air conditioners 
You are going to need them

If there is one thing I can appreciate...it will always be a good joke!  =)

(1) - My brain...well, my brain gets significantly more profane than just a classic raspberry.  Mine pretty well taunts me mercilessly....it's like being back on the playground in elementary school all over again! 

(2) - Unless you count my Grandparent's church that I was required to shlub my ass out of bed for during the summers when I would spend some weekends with them, and listen to my Grandfather snore so loud he probably shook the windows.  Of course, I couldn't hear over him to confirm that. 

(3) - Yes....inspirational....even to a sinner like me.  =)

(4) - He can't remember to take out the trash or finish washing the dishes, but that sign he can still quote verbatim. MEN!!!  lol  =)

(5) - Rural being relative because, well, it's all pretty damned rural out here!  =)

(6) - Unlike the mega-monstrosities that take up the majority of a county and seem to be cropping up regularly in urban areas across the country.

Find time to laugh...life's too short not to!  =)

Jewell  =) xo


Jenn said...

I've seen very clever church marquees in my day. But my brain has no capacity to remember them well enough to get the "punch" line.

Well here is one I can remember:

"We have a great prophet-sharing plan. Details inside."



Jewell said...

*chuckle* My brain is a sieve...I would make a horrible stand up comic because I wouldn't be able to remember my own jokes! =) So...I can relate!

YogaSavy said...

Love the first one! It is my all time favorite..... I have seen a few signs like those and more in Dharamshala but regarding YOGA
One was called Guerilla Yoga! and the rest well for the life of me cannot remember!

Jewell said...

lol - I'm glad I'm not the only one that can't remember all the signs that make me laugh... =) I'd take pictures of the ones that I see with my cell phone, but I have no way of getting the pictures off of it! DRAT! =)

Ron said...

Hi Jewell - Love the sayings! There is a church near here that posts funny quips each week. I chuckle when I see them, but fail to remember them...oh well. From other comments it seems that "Sometimers" disease is common :)

Be well,

Jewell said...

LOL Ron...yeah...I think it's an epidemic! Or is that a pandemic? Shit.... It's bad...yeah...that's it. Just bad! =)

Annie (Lady M) x said...

That was well funny you Joey! That one about the air-conditioning being stolen.

I am the same as you I must admit - a bit suspicious of all the prescriptive God stuff. In fact a lot of people in the UK are a bit stand-offish when it comes to the God Squad. The "funniest" sign I saw in front of a church was; "Trespassers will be baptised." Yeh, I know.. it's shit!

Jewell said...

LOL Annie...I actually like that one too! =) That's too funny!