Thursday, October 28, 2010

Dear Mr. (a.k.a. Mr. Ralph Haas)

Excuse me my lovelies, grab a cuppa....I felt the need to rant post a response to my very first negative comment ever on this blog.

"What?!" I hear you cry.

I know right?!  Whoda thunk it!

Now, this comment was in response to my post titled...."omg! OMG! Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuc......!!!"

I enjoy reading the comments of other folks on the various blogs that I visit.  But, in case some of my stalkers missed it, here is Mr. Haas' ground breaking comment...

    Interesting...I put this for my Facebook status less than 40-minutes ago:
   Please don't use God's name in vain...Why don't you say, "Oh My GOOGLE!" instead?

    And then The Blog Farm posts your article.

You know, I always get happy, excited, and all warm and fuzzy like when I see that I have a new reader.  So when I saw your comment waiting for my approval I was tickled.  I get to the first word "Interesting" and I think excellent, someone FINALLY finds me's about time! Brilliant start!

Then I finish reading, and I cocked my head like a curious puppy and realized, "I think he left me a negative comment!"  Seriously?  So I read the comment over and over, like a complete imbecile, to see if maybe it was some sort of new, never before experienced type of humor that was accidentally slipping over my head.  No...I'm not that dumb...  You really and truly did leave me a negative comment.  Have I mentioned it's my first EVER!  Way to go!

So the best I can surmise from your brief and pithy comment is the following:

1.  You judged me (and all my other posts) based on nothing more than a single blog post title.
2.  You didn't actually read the full post to which this post title was attached. (Thanks, by the way, for your well wishes. They are greatly appreciated. I'm sure you meant to include that in your comment and just forgot.)
3.  As a result of 1 & 2 you made an assumption that somewhere, on some level, on some planet, or in a parallel universe that I actually used the name of a "god" (or "God" if you prefer) all.

Now, I have to say first, I have never taken anyone's name in vain.  Ok, well that might not exactly be accurate.  I have maybe, kind of, sort of, taken Geraldo (Rivera's) name in vain, but really, who could blame me?  Anyone who makes a production of opening the vault of Al Capone and expecting that Al Capone was really stupid enough to leave anything behind just begs to have his name taken in vain.  And of course there's the whole broken nose by a chair via the KKK / white supremacists on TV thing.  Well yeah, that's just cheer worthy AND only another reason to take his name in vain (though I have a whole list, I won't bore the reading public with that in this post).

There are very few things in this life that really kind of piss me off, though, as I get older, the list seems to get exponentially longer.  One of the things that does piss me off...people who make assumptions about other people (at any level) and take it on as gospel.  If you don't know someone, or bother to take the time to get to know them (for me...that would be by actually reading my blog posts and not just the titles) and yet you hang onto an initial concept of that person as all there is to know...then you are basically lazy.  Why?  Because people are worth getting to know (most times).  Because people have value.  Because our individuality makes us all unique.

So, since you didn't take time to get to know me through my writings, let me boil down my essence for you.  This way, when you say "NEXT PLEASE!" you'll really have a reason behind it.

1.  I am a 30 *cough* something woman.  I hate no one.  I do hate assumptions, presumptions, and opinions that are not based on fact or research.  I hate bias.  I hate bigotry.  I hate cruelty.  I hate evil.  I hate hunger.  I hate poverty.  I hate politicians.  I hate mornings.  But I will always wish for world peace.

2.  I swear worse than all armed forces, of any country, combined.  Also, the swearing thing?  This, ironically, wasn't something you had a problem with as, in case you missed it, there was a partial swear word that was also, very discreetly (I know, it might have been hard to see), placed in the title of that same post.

3.  I work like a dog every day of the week, 12 - 16 hours at a minimum, and holidays.  You know why?  Because I work very hard during all that time helping my country, your country, and many other friendly foreign governments in keeping open minded people like me and close minded people like you safe from others in the world who would pretty well reason, in their own minds, that neither of us has any reason to exist.

4.  I write this blog for fun and for humor.  I think I do a pretty damn good job of it most of the time.  I try to keep things light, and I work hard (I've lost count of all the brain cells I've killed off) to help people remember that just about everything in a day has a reason to make you laugh.  You just need to change your perspective to find it.

5.  Because this blog is about humor, I choose not to rally about politics (except to show the funny insanity of a politician - regardless of where they lean).  I choose not to rail on about race, GBLT issues, bullying, religion, etc.  My opinions are mine on such important issues, and I have no need or reason to shove, show, or throw them at anyone else.  Should someone ask my opinion I have no problem sharing it.  I have no time, energy or reason to get into an argument with someone. 

Now, since it seems that your unders were mainly in a twist about the whole OMG thing...let me get down to brass tacks.  (I know, about time right?)

My question to you is how would you begin to know what OMG stands for in my brain or the context of my life?  You clearly haven't taken the time to get to know me, so .....?  As my dear friend Feline pointed out this evening, for all you know, that for me, OMG stands for "Oh My Girdle"?  Or, for that matter, goodness, golly, goddess, gosh, or any number of other words that start with "g"?

Why don't I just say "Oh My GOOGLE!" instead?  Because, Mr. Haas, Google does a very crappy job, as of late, at what it is that they are supposed to do for the public that uses them.  Bing works much better for me during work, but, being that Bing starts with a "b" and not a "g" which, as you can see, just doesn't fit.

Thank you for visiting my blog long enough to comment.  And my advice for you, dear sir?  Find your funny bone...I think you might have lost it along the way.

Yours sincerely, respectfully, and humorously,

Jewell  =) xo


Felinae said...

Bravo Jewells!!

Very well said, my friend, excellent post. :)

Hugs to you!
Thanks for the shout-out :D

YogaSavy said...

I am LOL.... made my day.... Well said. This is your post, you write how you want.

Ron said...

Hi Jewell - Good for you! Without making it about religion, politics, etc., there is a "personality type" that seems to enjoy seeking out targets for chastizment. There are hundreds of blogs listed on the Blog Farm, and yours is tame by comparrison to many of them. I read the comment and I think it was reference to "OMG" more than the title. Regardless, I think in the case of his comment OMG = Overt Moronic Gesture. You Go Girl!

I'm just saying,

poet said...

trolls are everywhere, some even sign their names. be gone, you evil mr.ha(ass)s. be gone.

jewel, i come here every day as soon as the feed tells me to :) linked and loving it. how did the appointment go?

have a happy fright night jewel!

Jenn said...


I hate negative feedback...especially when it is negative and assumptive. And for this person to not get to know you is a DAMN SHAME...cuz you are very funny, witty, and fun person to get to know through writing.


I have to I read this post, I've learned you are a much nicer and more tolerable person than I could ever hope to be. I applaud you on a well written response!

At least we both have mouths that could out swear anyone. I make a truck driver feel uncomfortable in his own swearing is absolutely horrible...but I am working on it.



Jewell said...

Fel...(((hugs))) You are always welcome for the shout out, and frankly...if you hadn't provided the brilliant "Oh My Girdle" it could easily have become "Oh My G-spot!" =) LOL

Savira...thanks for the thumbs up. Most importantly though I'm glad I was able to brighten your day! =) - "Overt Moronic Gesture" is hilarious. Because I wasn't allowed on the computer when this came in the husband him read it to me and it had us both laughing! =)

Poet...thanks for the support! LOL You do crack me up! I am glad you come and visit, and have fun here! That's really what it's all about! The appointment went well on Friday...I will work up a post soon...trying to take it easy with the eyes for a few days! =) Happy Halloween to you too! =)

Jenn (a.k.a my twin) ... You (and everyone else's comments) had me laughing! I swear they forgot to break the mold between us...the world could be in some hella big danger with us on the loose! =) said...

Hey Jewell -

I am glad you enjoy writing your blog and having fun with it. That is why I am into year five with my blog as well. I appreciate your sincerity, respectfulness and humor in dealing with our issue.

I address it on my latest post:
Oh My Gord!

Have a great weekend!

~ Ralph Hass

Anonymous said...

I’ve been married to my wife a loooong time, so I know her pretty well. 
She always respects other people’s religious beliefs – whether they are Christian, Buddhist, Muslim, Hindu, Mormons, even Druids or Pagans.
In fact the only people with really strong beliefs she might tend to disagree with are probably Packer fans!
She respects other people’s beliefs, rights, privacy, and freedom of speech, even when she doesn’t agree with them or follow the same beliefs.
She never seeks out people to preach to them, or to chastise them. She never attempts to force her beliefs on anyone, and appreciates it when others show her the same courtesy. She loves nature, animals, and is generally an all-around good, trustworthy, loyal, honest person.

This twit’s mother apparently didn’t teach him “ If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all”, and apparently he should go back to Sunday school since he totally forgot “Let He Who is Without Sin Cast the First Stone “ and “"Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged!", but things like that really don’t matter because as I said he is merely a twit, apparently one with nothing better to do than scan the internet for the most egregious crime of using the acronym ‘OMG’ which might potentially mean something he might decide to be offended by even though it can mean plenty of other things.

So Mr. Ralph “Holier than thou” Haas, perhaps you should find something more constructive to spend your time on – since you seem bent on going after sinners may I suggest you start with routing out some of the child molesters who continue to use the power of religion for sick and evil purposes – and… I mean it sincerely when I say Fuck You Very Much ….and the little midget circus horse you rode in on.

The Husband Him