Finding these headlines is almost as fun as creating my own post brilliance, with the exception that looking for these articles doesn't pop nearly as many brain cells as me trying to light a fire in my brain. =)
- Man rides mower to spring dog from kennel Wow! Wonder if he had a beer in the cup holder too!
- Man Drove Off While Officer's Fingers Stuck In Door Handle Pretty sure that's not going to help his case with the po-po....
- Bomb Squad Defuses Box Full of Kittens I think I've done seen it all now! *faint* (2)
- High times in the hive tonight: too much cocaine makes bees wax lyrical Oooooo-kay. Really? How many bees are currently in rehab for cocaine addiction? And what are they waxing lyrical about? Are they quoting Shakespeare or something?
- How not to apply for a Washington State Patrol job Really, there are no words for this...you have to read the article to get a full appreciation for this moron's stupendous brainlessness...the crickets in his head must be staggeringly loud!
- NH man shoots self while trying to locate gun’s safety If this doesn't properly explain why some people shouldn't breed...I'm not sure what does!
- How many cockroaches would you hold in your mouth ... for charity? *gag* GAH! *shudder* Ummm....none? Yeah! None! Abso-fucking-lutely yes, that's my final answer! Excuse me while I evacuate my stomach....blech!
(1) - That would be Part Deux for those who don't love the French language as much as I do =)
(2) - For those with queasy stomachs...I would never post an article where kittens get blown up....it really is a safe read!
Have a wonderful night, friends!
Jewell =) xo