Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Dear Bird World.....Seriously, WTF?

So while I was sitting here today, doing my work like a good little drone, I am pretty well convinced the birds in my yard have done lost their little birdy minds. (1)  I didn't keep count or anything, but I'm fairly certain they bounced off of, brushed by, and plowed into just about every single window of my house.

Dear warped, directionally challenged little birdy friends....W-T-F?

I mean really!  It's not like they can't see my windows.  Honest!  I should know!  The windows are absolutely filthy!  (2)  In fact, they're so dirty Stevie Wonder could avoid them without help.

So really....what is the deal?  I mean are they really that bored in their little birdy worlds they have to go careening into mine?

Bird 1:  "Hey George.  I'm bored."   

Bird 2:  "Yeah me too, Frank.  Got any ideas?" 

Bird 1:  "Sure!  Follow me!"  *THUNK* 

Bird 2:  "Hmmm...yeah, thinkin' that's not gonna happen Frank."

I have to wonder.  Do you think when birds get knocked for a loop, or knock themselves for a loop, they see that little circle of birdies tweeting happily in a circle like a bunch of drunks?  The things that make you go...Hmmmm?!  =)

Anyway, because of idiot birds like Frank I think I'm going to have to start investing in Depends at a pathetically young age (3).  Why?  Well, because, you see, with every ear shattering thunk of the window pane I inevitably end up peeing just a little bit. It's really quite annoying, Frank!

Thankfully though, there have been no dead bodies to be disposed of as a result of the onslaught.  However, on the upside it's forced my over indulgent, portly cats (aka. "the boys") to get some exercise today.  On that front, I guess the day wasn't a total loss!

(1) - Or at the very least, if their bird brains are still in tact after playing chicken with my windows, their mini bird GPS systems are seriously out of whack!

(2) - And yes I can freely admit this in the vast space called the internetzes.  Who the hell can see the damned windows through my computer screen anyway?!  I mean seriously, it's not like you can see through the paper I have over the web cam!  =-p

(3) - Not just pathetically young, but very probably the record breaking, Guinness Book entry age of someone that can't be qualified as preemie, newborn, toddler or any other such nonsense where diapers are pretty much a perquisite to their fashion sense.

Back to work! 

Jewell  =)  xo


YogaSavy said...

Bubba! is bubbalicious.....Birds aint gonna mess with him!

Anonymous said...

Can I join your dirty windows club please Jewell? It's the hubbit's job to clean mine but he's been a little lax lately. Mustn't be keeping my end of the bargain up or sumink :) oops.
Oh my word, Lucky Bubba doesn't look like someone who can be messed with - and he certainly looks like he has a tale (or should that be tail) or 9 to tell! Gorgeous cats! xx

Jenn said...

Bubba's pic exudes bubbaness. Beautiful cats btw. About your psychotic, directionally challenged birds....no advice...none...zilch...zero...I wish I had more.

I wouldn't make it as an advice columnist would I?? One more to scratch off the list. =)

Cheers, Jenn

CntryJewell said...

YogaSavy...he's quite the guy, yeah? =)

Gill - you can join me in any club you like...as long as it's not the photography class club =-p lol Yeah, I am pretty sure that Lucky could spin a tale/tail or two, but most day's you would have to wake him up first! =) hehe

Jenn..."the boys" thank you for your obvious good eyesight. =) Yeah - I don't get the birds either. LOL Ok, so you couldn't have an advice column about birds with broken GPS systems, but I am sure that there is something that you could advise others about...or not! =)

Jewell =) xo