Dear warped, directionally challenged little birdy friends....W-T-F?
I mean really! It's not like they can't see my windows. Honest! I should know! The windows are absolutely filthy! (2) In fact, they're so dirty Stevie Wonder could avoid them without help.
So really....what is the deal? I mean are they really that bored in their little birdy worlds they have to go careening into mine?
Bird 1: "Hey George. I'm bored."
Bird 2: "Yeah me too, Frank. Got any ideas?"
Bird 1: "Sure! Follow me!" *THUNK*
Bird 2: "Hmmm...yeah, thinkin' that's not gonna happen Frank."
Anyway, because of idiot birds like Frank I think I'm going to have to start investing in Depends at a pathetically young age (3). Why? Well, because, you see, with every ear shattering thunk of the window pane I inevitably end up peeing just a little bit. It's really quite annoying, Frank!
Thankfully though, there have been no dead bodies to be disposed of as a result of the onslaught. However, on the upside it's forced my over indulgent, portly cats (aka. "the boys") to get some exercise today. On that front, I guess the day wasn't a total loss!
(1) - Or at the very least, if their bird brains are still in tact after playing chicken with my windows, their mini bird GPS systems are seriously out of whack!
(2) - And yes I can freely admit this in the vast space called the internetzes. Who the hell can see the damned windows through my computer screen anyway?! I mean seriously, it's not like you can see through the paper I have over the web cam! =-p
(3) - Not just pathetically young, but very probably the record breaking, Guinness Book entry age of someone that can't be qualified as preemie, newborn, toddler or any other such nonsense where diapers are pretty much a perquisite to their fashion sense.
Back to work!
Jewell =) xo