Tuesday, August 31, 2010

My dog - she's just not right in the head

(1 & 1b)

Anywho, yesterday was one of those days.  You know the one I'm talking about. (2)

You don't?  Really?  Hrrrmmm....well ok, let me break it down for you:
  1. You wake up more tired than you were when you went to bed the night before.  
  2. Nothing goes right all day, no matter how hard you try to keep your cool.  
  3. Clumsy becomes your first, middle, last and nick names, and bruises in stupid places are your tattoos to indicate all the places on your body that in no way could be confused with a "funny bone".
  4. Your ambition and motivation both decided to join your sense of humor on its vacation, and you?  Yeah, you weren't invited.
In other words? It was a fucking Monday.

Anywho, I digress. (3)  So I get home from spending some time using some REAL internet access at the office, and what do I find but the dog staring at her own ass.  I wish I'd had my camera at that point, because it was quite queer the way she was doing it.  I sat in the car a couple extra minutes just staring at her, because she sure as hell wasn't paying any attention to the fact that someone had driven into the driveway - AGAIN!!  (4)

Even after I get out of the car I barely get a glance, and certainly no tail wag.  She just resumes staring at her ass.  Now it's not like she was licking, or scratching, or even sniffing.  No!  Not my dog!  Why in the world would she consider doing something that NORMAL dogs do, no, she's vain and self absorbed apparently and completely enthralled with the sight of her own ass!

So I give up on any validation from my dog and go in the house to my cats who are infinitely more excited to see me than the dog was!  The husband him had already started dinner.  Mainly because I had already informed him that if eating was on his agenda of things to do that evening, then him cooking dinner had best become his top priority. (5) I wasn't in the mood, and I was too flipping tired to give an amoeba's ass the time of day.  (6)

I got settled in, did a quick bit of work, and while he was cooking I figured I had enough time that I could run out and feed the horse, because he can be a real nag when he isn't fed.  (7) 

So, I give him his scoop of grain, and start walking back to the house, and I see that Angie is doing one of these sorts of things on her chain....

As I get closer I see that she's apparently figured out that she has something to guard the house against.

Yeah....it's apparently the big evil bunny monster.  You can tell, she's guarding intently, now that she's realized that the she's not getting any closer to the rabbit.

Apparently "Evil Peter" (8) has come to steal all the vegetables from the house, to taunt the cats mercilessly (oh - yeah - and the dog too), and to kill the husband him and I in a slow, painful death related to it's uber-cuteness.

Yeah...just another day in paradise!  =-p

(1) - Ok, so pretty sure that you have met Angie.  If not, you might want to take just a second to get to know a little about her in this post.
   (1b) --- So There!  Starting off the post with a side note!  Take THAT!  =-p

(2) - Yes you do!  Don't give me that crap, you know you do.  And not only do you know, you've been there AND collected the t-shirt, the ball cap and the freaking coffee mug!  =-p

(3) - Yes, I digressed, again! Shut it....this blog is nothing but one big digression!  =)

(4) - I'm thinking that it's time that I be offended.  I mean aren't dogs supposed to be excited to see you when you come home?  Aren't they the ones that are supposed to trip over themselves with joy that you've returned to make their lives complete?  My dog is quite obviously DEFECTIVE!

(5) - Ok, it was probably a lot less forceful and dramatic than that.  It was probably closer to, "you are cooking dinner because I'm too damned tired.", but who cares...it's my story!  =-p

(6) - And no, I haven't any damned clue if amoeba's have actual asses as you and I know them.  So don't ask me...I don't care!  =-p

(7) - ((((Insert appropriate losing game show sounds here for stupid joke))))  Wah wah wah!!

(8) - That would be Peter Cottontail's evil twin brother that you never hear or read about!!!  I'm telling you he's real...I.Have.Pictures!  =)

Jewell  =)


YogaSavy said...

I could not stop laughing about the dog starring at her own ass! I was picturing it and your expression when I burst out laughing.. Oops sorry but it was a funny sight!!!!!
Thank You

CntryJewell said...

LOL =) That makes me happy! =) I am glad she (or we as it turns out) was able to make you get a good laugh! =)


Anonymous said...

really likin' your blog, jewell. have a great day*

CntryJewell said...

thepoetm - thank you I'm glad you enjoyed! =) Thanks for taking the time to visit and comment!


Brahm (alfred lives here) said...

Yep, that is quite the day...

Now start it off like my Tuesday, with a farting beagle waking you at 5.15 AM because he has to go downstairs to go outside to puke; and he makes it halfway down the stairs and then, you know...

CntryJewell said...

LOL - ya know Brahm...not so sure I know where to go with that!

I mean does the fart indicate the need to puke in beagles? Because if that's the case, maybe pulling an ear or tail to get the momentum moving quicker (as no beagle I know moves exceptionally quick on a good day) might avoid the whole 1/2 way down the stairs thingy *wrinkles nose* (pretty sure I don't want to know which end fired first...and definitely not at that time of the day)

My sympathies on so many levels!

Jewell =)

If I had a blog... said...

Great post Jewell - Ass stairing? Bunny guarding? I'd love to get a look at her Day Planner :) On the positive side though...you haven't been attacked by bunnies yet...so you have that going for you!?!

I hope the rest of the week goes MUCH better for you.

CntryJewell said...

Well you have a point, evil bunnies not withstanding we haven't been mauled, attacked, invaded, or otherwise put out by them or the pink elephants or the rabid unicorns....maybe she's doing something around here to earn her keep =-p lol


forestwalk/laura k said...

hahahahaaaa...tomorrow's another day. everytime i hear of evil bunnies, i think of the monty python where the bunnies go for the throat...neeeeee! neeeee! looks like you have a good protector though...to keep them bunnies at bay... :)

CntryJewell said...

Welcome back Laura =) You know I thought about the Monty Python skit too! =)