Friday, July 2, 2010

Today # 2: Gifts that keep on giving...

You know, in our hinky and wacked out world there are just some things that, in my RWW world, just seem to be gifts that keep on giving!  I mean, it seems that there are some arenas that just always are fodder, and invariably demands a RWW reaction of one extreme or another.

One is politicians.  I mean come on....  Politicians need to take classes to be politicians you know.  I don't mean that they need to go to law school, or major in poli-sci in college.  I don't mean that they need to take debate or even drama or speech related classes.  NO, some of the classes that politicians MUST attend before becoming an full fledged, hardcore, elected official are the following:
    1 - Toe Tap 101: Learn all the necessary toe tapping codes to call like-minded constituents in any situation or environment. (Special tapping styles detailed to accommodate bathroom acoustics.)
    2 - Swearing 101:  Learn key phrases like "It's a big fucking deal!" and how to properly and successfully improvise your swearing prowess in nuclear arms talks, global warming summits, and congressional oversight committees.
   3 - Winky Waving 101: Learning how to properly wave your winky to successfully lure any homo sapien outside of your marital bed.  Required for Winky Waving 102.
   4 - Winky Waving 102: Covers the basics of Winky Waving 101, but also includes the art of finesse and the art of not getting caught within 3 months of inception (or conception).

And last, but certainly not least -
   5 - Denial 101 - Denial 1,000,000,000,001: The art of denial, deflection, and transparency as clear as mud.

I almost went there today....Rod Blagojevich was going to be the fodder for tonight's beating.  I mean seriously, if you can't find constant juicy hilarity in Chicago politics as usual...well then you can't laugh at politics.

Instead another arena that invariably provides fruitful fodder...celebrities.  I love stupid celebrities almost as much as I love stupid politicians!  I ALWAYS have RWW reactions to the stupid shit that these people do and/or say.  For example, today I read this headline "Lohan punched by waitress on 24th birthday"  Without actually reading the article my first reaction, well it was actually a tie I think...
    -  Awesome!     -  About time!    and      - Someone buy that waitress a drink!  (1)

Honestly, screw the rest of the article..that headline was enough to make my weekend!  Gratuitous violence by a working stiff on the stupidly famous...Yessssss!  (2)


(1) - Actually that's what it sounded like in my head.  The sound I actually made was closer to "Awelrkeweaaw!  Hahaha!"  Complete with a high five to myself.  Yes, I know I am pathetic...  =-p

(2) - Turns out the waitress was actually pissed at the guy LiLo was out with because she (the waitress) has a thing for him...stupid waitress, and yet "thank you" for socking her!  =)

Ahhhh....in-law invasion this weekend....undoubtedly more fodder to spew at the masses!  =)

'til next time.... Yo!

Jewell  =)

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