Tuesday, July 13, 2010

The dream....the lesson...the reminder

Ok, so I've wanted to be a "real writer" for some time. In fact, I remember telling my mother that I was going to be a writer when I grew up.  My mother, the ever sensible and efficient sort, simply replied, without looking up from her task at hand, "You might want to find a job that pays."

Becoming the author of the Great American Novel was always something that lingered at the back of the cavernous black hole I call my mind. (1)  I have, honestly, written at least 3 spellbinding, mind boggling, awe inspiring books.  

"What are they?  When can I see them in my local bookstore?  Will you send me a personalized signed copy for ebay?" might be some of the questions you would pelt me with upon hearing this stupendous news.

Since I try to bring a dash of honesty in with the flood of humor, allow me to sort out the quick and dirty of it all for you.  "I don't know. Never. Not a chance you vultures...back off before I call the cops!"

Yous:  Never?  

Me:  Nope, never!  

Yous:  But why? 

Me:  Well there really is quite a good reason for that. They all came and went in my head and never actually made it to the computer, let alone actual paper.

Yous:  [staring mouth agape and disillusionment in your eyes]  *blink*

Me:  Details, details! =-p  (2)

Ahem...anywho, though I haven't actually written anything in quite some time, and definitely in no substantive manner (3) before this blog, I always keep up with reading about being a writer.  (4)  Writer's Digest, Ralph Keyes and many other sources have have helped to keep my disillusions alive for many years. 

One tip I seem to come across quite often, in the tips about what it takes to be a good or better writer, is that eavesdropping can always be a good source of character development, examples of local color, etc.  My mom...yep...she pretty much classified it as snooping.  (5)

I'm not 100% boned up on my snoop...er....eavesdropping skills, so I don't always pay attention to things that are going on around me.  Yesterday though I had to be at the veterinarian, and, while sitting in one of the exam rooms, the dog and I were hearing bits and pieces of conversation outside of our door.  (6)

Anywho, this is the story that we heard during yesterday's exercise in becoming a better writer...

"My sister called my mom yesterday.  She's such a bone head!  You aren't going to believe what she called her for."  [mumble, mumble, mumble]

"No, she called because she wanted to know what she should do because she had locked her keys in the car, but the window was down and it was raining."  [mumble, laughter, mumble]

"No, my mom asked her what she said.  So my sister told her that she had left her window down, but that she had locked her keys in the car and she needed to know what she should do."  [laughter, mumble, laughter]

"Yeah, mom just told her to reach in and unlock the door."

Ahhh...some local color, a laugh from me, a wag from the dog, and the reminder that I really was that stupid once.  Mom would have loved hearing that story!  =) 

(1) - Maybe that's why I kept hearing crickets in last night's post.  Hmmm....I wonder if there is a disorder for that! 

(2) - They were quite good, I assure you. Pulitzer quality writing...it's shame that you don't live in my head. Just imagine what wondrous adventures you could have shared with me.  What a shame! *shakes head*

(3) - Other than checks who's amounts always seem to get more and more substantive....note to self - find a paying gig!  *snort*

(4)  - Yeah not quite the same, I know, but I don't see you out there learning how to juggle so you can fulfill your life long dream of joining the circus!  Clown!  (Wait!!!!  Do they even have the circus anymore????  Am I that old that I might have actually outlived the CIRCUS?!  Oh Crap!)

(5) - Don't get me wrong, she would have classified it as snooping, admonished me that I should be minding my own business, and then would have shoved me out of the way so that she could pressed her ear next to the door I was trying to eavesdropping on.    =)

(6) - Frankly, had there been a surveillance camera in the room we probably would have looked quite a bit like a couple of bobble heads as we screwed our heads around at various angles trying to hear the conversation more clearly.

Next time...try getting in my head, it's clearly funnier in there  =)



If I had a blog... said...

As for book writing, you might consider the lost ideas of topic as a book itself. Jerry Sienfeld made a successful television series abotu nothing.

I love your footnotes and think there may be a career in writing dissertations for Doctoral candidates on the condition that they never actually read the context and live with the results. Me thinks you would revel in this opprotunity :)

Keep writing...and thinking...you are very good!

Be well,

P.S. You don't seem to respond to my comments...hmmm...shall I stalk elsewhere?

CntryJewell said...

How do you like that?! My post ate my comment!!! Arrrrgggh!

My wit, my love, my snarkyness...Goooooone! *sob*

Well Ron, rest assured I had something hilarious for you... =) Complete with your very own footnote. *sigh*

Ahh well...this will just have to do since I can't remember what I wrote....*shakes fist at black hole in head*


RE: P.S. Turnabout is fair play in comment world...seems there was no response to my comment on your octopus post =-p So there! =)

If I had a blog... said...

I responded to your comment on the octopi post...tags, you're it...no tags back...neener, neener, neener :)

CntryJewell said...

LOL - 'bout time =)